killing procrastination.

you guys. i am so sorry. i have failed you guys! i’m so sorry that i haven’t been able to update in a long time. it’s been ten very, very hectic days. i’m incredibly embarassed, you guys! i’m so sorry. i’ve been working a lot and been distracted with other things in life such as seeing family and friends. i have been writing a lot of lyrics lately, and i have finally got down a good melody to put words to now. i am working as well on another song that i started to write a long time ago but never finished. so, essentially i have two songs almost ready.

other than that, i’ve been a little overwhelmed by the task i put myself in. i have found myself thinking about what am i gonna do if for some reason the deadline comes by and i have nothing ready. that would be really shitty. i’ll probably grant myself a little wiggle room and extend the project a little bit until i’m finally done. unlike most of the stuff i start, i will finish this. in at least a month and a half, if i can’t do it in the original 30 days. writing an album from total, complete scratch in a month is a pain in the ass. but i love it.

i will be unveiling the two new songs and other news regarding the project within the next few days. i’ll be really busy over the next few days writing – but writing for other little projects I have due this week as well as cleaning and finishing the remodeling work my housemates and i started. it’s hard to do that when the house you live in is a popular place for our friends to get drunk at… heh. fabulous.

something i have discovered lately is that i need to prioritize, organize and focus. FOCUS. the focus is needed, badly. i find myself being very ADHD, distracted by everything and everyone. lately i’ve felt a big pressure from people… when i want to write and play guitar, i retreat into my room and close the door. i’m having me time – i’m dealing with strong emotions, memories and i’m having internal dialogue… essentially, the songwriting process for me is very personal and very emotional. i cry, i laugh, i throw things. (yes. i’m crazy. but we all knew that already.) understand why i need to be isolated? haha. lately i’ve been feeling a little overstimulated – too many people around me, too many people demanding things from me – like my time, money, attention… i feel i’ve lost focus. this project so far has been one of self-evaluation. some of it has been cruel, and it’s because, well, i am my own worst critic. i’m a perfectionist. when you’re an artist… that’s not necessarily a good trait to have when you’re trying to keep a consistent output of material. i just want to be able to write without even judging what i’m writing and the theme of the song, get through it and do the revisions later. i must… correct… DAMN.

the project is moving along, guys. i have three songs so far. there are fourteen days left. i’ll have to write a song a day for the next few days to have it completed, and it’d give me some time for a nice revision break. i’m gonna try my hardest. wish me luck!

love you all!

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